Sunset plus

When I got home from work this evening, the sky was looking kind of promising, so I went for a little walk.

Notice all the wispy clouds? They got good later on...

 

These were taken facing North. I was rather surprised when all the clouds in the sky started glowing pink (after the sun had vanished from the sky).

This was to the West.

  And Just before I went back in the house (rather reluctantly).

 I don't know if any of these count as noctilucent, but they were stunning.

When riots and boyfriends collide...

I know I don't have many readers, and this doesn't especially bother me. I don't broadcast my blog's existence so it isn't surprising. However I think I'm fairly safe saying that most of my readers will agree with me that the riots going on recently are not a good thing.

The brazen opportunism, thuggery and wanton destruction are appalling, frightening, tragic and.... just a little bit exciting. I come from a generation that has never really experienced this kind of social unrest in this country. For the first time I am in a position to grasp a little of how my parents must have felt as they muddled on with their lives while the country was convulsing around them.

Granted, this time its different. The rage doesn't seem to have a well defined direction. People just seem to be venting their frustration with their situation in general. They might think they have a reason, but in the majority of cases its an excuse to have some fun making other peoples lives miserable, because they've realised the police can't currently stop them. That bothers me rather... we cant even do rioting as nobly as the previous generation. They at least generally seem to have rioted for a reason. I don't pretend to have well researched justification for that statement, its just a feeling that I get, and any rioting  in our moderate country is pretty inexcusable.

But I digress. You've probably read sentiments like the above, better written, all over the internet and heard it on the news repeatedly. What I wanted to talk about was the way the riots have made me think.

I live in the depths of wild Suffolk, far far away from any unrest, yet I have naturally been following the riots with a kind of morbid fascination.

My boyfriend however, lives in Woolwich. Just a short walk from where the rioting happened on Monday night. Thankfully he was away that night and his block of flats remained unaffected (though I was rather worried that as a fairly obvious rich persons' building in the middle of poor underprivileged Woolwich it might have become a target).

When he got home from his trip the following day, he had a wander through what was left of Woolwich on a quest to get groceries. He took a couple of photos of the destruction, and got the bug. This was -real- life, happening just on his doorstep. The urge to witness it first hand began to rise. When he spoke to me that evening he told me he was contemplating going out with his camera and taking photos if any rioting happened in Woolwich again.

I can understand this urge. Like I said, its kind of exciting if you've never witnessed it before. The desire to be involved in history in the making is natural. Yet my first reaction to this was the desire to talk him out of it if at all possible. I love my boyfriend, and the idea of him putting himself in such a dangerous situation willingly, expensive camera in hand while 'surreptitiously' taking pictures of these yobs going about their malicious business filled me with fear. He might get mugged (or worse)! I'd heard the stories of how anyone not taking part in the riots could be a target, and how anyone taking pictures or otherwise recording the events were particularly turned upon. I'd really rather my boyfriend remained nice and un-maimed.

But this got me thinking. How much of a say do I really have? What responsibilities does my boyfriend have to me at this stage in our relationship? He's his own person and, if I'm honest I think I'd love him less if he let me boss him around. At the same time, if he had ignored my anxiety and insisted on going out anyway (he didn't), how annoyed, upset or angry do I have the right to be?

It seems to be a sort of grey area at the moment. If  for example a few years down the line, we were married and had kids and a similar situation arose. I'd feel a lot more justified in that situation putting my foot down and saying it wasn't fair of him to do it. He'd have made a commitment to me and have responsibilities to the kids and myself. I still don't think I would feel comfortable forbidding him from putting himself in a dangerous situation, but I'd feel justified in being angry if I weren't consulted and involved in the decision. I would also expect that if he were to be in that situation with kids, he wouldn't need me to point out his responsibilities. He'd probably not seriously consider taking such a risk.

Now suppose we were married but there weren't any kids? What say do I get as a wife? How responsible is he to me? I think we should still make such decisions together, even if he has the final say in -his- life.

When does the transition happen? How do my rights to a say in how my boyfriend lives his life evolve with the development of the relationship?

I think the answer is probably that if we got into a situation  where it came up... where he wanted to do something that I -really- didn't want him to do, and he didn't consult me, or ignored my worries without talking them out fully with me and assuaging my fears, then there's something wrong with the relationship at any stage.

I may not have the right to put my foot down yet, but I shouldn't need to either. If he loves me he won't do that to me.

I am very lucky. My boyfriend doesn't have to include me in his decisions, but he does anyway. He wants to involve me, and that makes me feel quite good about our prospects. It also means that the contents of this post have been almost entirely hypothetical.

tl;dr: My boyfriend considered going to photograph the riots, but he loves me so he didn't. (it's a Mini adventure)

Seaside

*Listens to Seaside by the Ordinary Boys*

Reminds me of Wednesday. I went to the seaside at Southwold with Mike.

Southwold is such a lovely place, and with good company you can't really beat it. Even if you are getting extremely sand-burnt by high long-shore winds. I'm still finding sand in my car and on my person.

We set off about lunchtime, and had a very picturesque drive over, down the little country roads that Suffolk has in abundance. Lots of really pretty old houses that we were both somewhat drooling over. Managed to confuse the sat-nav a bit, but eventually we got there. Parked to the south of the town, behind the dunes, and walked along the seafront to the pier for chips.

I could probably fill a whole post just talking about the awesomeness that is Southwold Pier. It has several quirky little shops, cafes and exhibits. The best of which being the room full of unique hand made arcade machines that do amazingly unlikely things. If we'd had the money, Mike and I would probably have been in there some time. Contraptions like the Autofrisk machine, Gene Forecaster, Rent-a-dog, and Whack A Banker. You can see more of them here.

After exploring the pier, we walked back along the beach, stopping to buy a super-duper spade from a stall on the way, and picked a spot to build our fortifications. We laid out the blanket we'd brought with some difficulty (wind), and had to weigh it down on the upwind side with sand so it didn't blow away. Within very little time it had acquired a thin layer of sand across the whole thing. We were worried we'd end up losing it! After a lesson from Mike on skimming stones with mixed success, we got to work.

We initially wanted to try and build a maze, with trenches and walls, and an epic entrance with bridges and archways, however after I'd been trying to build the maze itself for a bit, we realised that the first bits I'd done were already being eroded and filled in by the strong sand-burning wind . Since Mike had got some way with the entrance we decided to change plan and build a hill fort.


Contractor Mike reports works complete. Given the working conditions I feel he has achieved quite impressive results. He gets points.... then runs off with them.

 Next time... and we hope there will be a next time... I think we'll allow more time for fortification building and try to find a less windy day. That way our castle might not look pebble dashed, and the blanket wouldn't be lost in sand.

The journey home was, if anything more scenic than the outward journey, as the sun was getting low in the sky and drizzling everything in treacle coloured light. I love that time of day. Everything seems just that little bit more magical. If I hadn't been driving, I might have taken more pictures.

Anyway, I think this makes a change from my usual job/angst related burblings. I hope you enjoyed it anywhere near as much as I enjoyed the day itself.

A less cryptic event

I said I'd update on the latest interview after I'd had it, so here goes.

I'm quite glad I waited, because my opinion of it is rather different than it was when I set off. It was with a complete start-up in Essex, that are trying to find suitable sites for pumped storage in the UK. It's very low paid, and if I got/took it, I'd be living on a shoestring for the duration, but a bit of me is thinking it might be worth it.

The work looks really interesting to  me. It would be a chance to combine my sustainability interest with my surveying skills. The office, while currently unfurnished, seems like it'll be a fairly nice place to be once it's up and running. The guy who interviewed me was a lot younger and less cynical than I had expected, and in general it seems like it'll be a young and exciting company. There might be a better paid position for me at the end of it if I show potential.

The location is Witham, which is pretty much half way between home and London. This would put some (much needed) distance between me and the family home without putting it completely out of reach, and it would be fairly easy to get into London to see people.

My interviewer mentioned, without prompting, that he knew the pay was low, and that given my suitability for the job, they might try to increase the offer to me, though he didnt mention any figures. To me this seems a pretty strong indication that he'd quite like to employ me.

I still think a London job would be preferable for a year or two at least, but I haven't yet heard from either of the London interviews, and don't want to make any assumptions. The waiting is starting to get to me.

Events

Blogging always seems to fall by the wayside when the main stuff going on in one's life is stuff that one can't talk about. In my case there are at least three potentially life changing things that I havent been able to talk about recently. Even now I  probably shouldnt talk openly about two of them.

Event number 1 was this: Chris and I broke up. I wont go into it much, but it was mutual (at least at the time), amicable (similarly), and the right thing for both of us. Things hadn't been right for a while, and it needed to happen.

Event number 2 was revealed to me two days after Event number 1, and floored me completely. Nothing had prepared me for this Event. The fallout is still very much ongoing and I have no idea how it will turn out. Needing to talk to someone about Event number 2 probably ultimately catalysed Event number 3.

The day after Event number 2 I received a job offer. From the interview I had had just before Event number 1. "Hurrah!" I hear you say.... well. I am in a bit of a quandry about it for various reasons, but its one of the few things in my life I can actually talk about, which I suppose is in its favour. The money is good, it is in a nice part of the country, and I could potentially find it interesting and be good at it. The downsides are; firstly, it's not London, which is where a lot of people I'd like to be near are based; secondly, It wouldn't aid me in getting into the career I'd really ultimately like to end up in; and thirdly, I'd be selling my soul somewhat. I guess it's a choice many people have to make.

Event number 3 occurred some time after Event number 2, and as mentioned was probably catalysed by this Event. I use catalysed deliberately. Event number 3 was probably going to happen eventually anyway, and Event number 2 is broadly unaffected by its effects on Event number 3. Nobody involved in it expected Event number 3 to occur as quickly as it did, least of all me. And while Event number 3 is positive, and exciting, it's also scary and likely to upset some people. I feel bad that it happened like this, but I dont feel bad that it happened.

In between all these Events, I have also had two other interviews. As always, its near enough impossible to tell how they went, but I can relate my thoughts. The first company was very interesting. The work they do is right up my street, and I think I could do it. Theres plenty of scope for learning more, getting more responsibility and generally getting job satisfaction. It's in a nice part of London, and the office atmosphere is relaxed and light and airy. I would really like this job. Sods law says this means I wont get it.

The second company also has potential. The work is something I'm interested in (though not to the same extent as the first place), I'd learn a lot, and be fairly challenged. The people seemed nice, and it was in another nice part of London. My main reservations are these; the office - its a cramped room in an old office block. I could cope with this, but it doesnt count in its favour. Secondly the work is likely to be a little frustrating from time to time, given that I will often be fighting for clients to have to do the bare minimum rather than the best job possible. Still, if I got offered this job, and not the first one, I would almost certainly take it.

I have another interview tomorrow. I'll let you know what I think of that after it's happened.

Jobs 2.0

Today has been an eventful day on the job hunt front. I applied to two jobs, and had responses from both of them. The first wanted me to tell them when I'd be available for interview over the next few weeks, the second asked if I'd be available for a quick phone call tomorrow. I blame Mike's CV advice. Who'd have thought putting a bit in the start pointing out exactly what you've done that'd be useful to them would be so effective?

Shhh!!!! I know that ought to be obvious, but never mind.

Still the phone call tomorrow is a little scary. Don't want to be completely unprepared, but don't want to be up all night cramming either. Especially as I don't know what they'll want to talk to me about. It's a cool sounding job and I don't want to blow it.

Also got invited to an assessment day for a role as an 'analyst' doing something involving catastrophe modelling, which happens in a weeks time. No idea if its something I'll enjoy. Got called up by a recruitment company 5 minutes after posting my CV on a website. They thought I might be suited to it, and apparently the company agree enough to want to meet me.

All in all, things seem to be looking reasonably positive. I really hope one of them works out, as I'm getting rather tired of unemployment.

Geocaching ftw

I think I may have found a new hobby.

Sunday afternoon, my sister and brother in law came round for the afternoon. Lucy recently got a new job near Ely and they've just found a house to rent. Theyll be moving fairly soon. Anyhoo, Toby has often mentioned this mysterious activity known as geocaching as something that sounds pretty cool, and he'd like to try. He and Lucy recently gave it a go, and having decided it was rather fun, suggested we go out and look for a couple of nearby points while they were over. We went (my parents, Lucy, Toby and I) and after some initial frustration located both points. I was hooked.

Geocaching is basically treasure-hunting for technophiles. You get given a GPS position and have to get to it using either your phone, or other GPS device. At this location somebody has cunningly hidden an item for people to find, or possibly a clue to the next location in a chain. Usually this is some form of waterproof container, varying in size from something smaller than a 35mm film pot to larger than a bucket. These containers are usually full of random objects that other geocachers have placed there, as well as calling cards and the requisite logbook and (usually) pen/pencil. The objects are of very small value, but usually rather eccentric, and the idea is not to take anything unless you leave something else of equal or greater value. Once you have found the cache, registered your find, and examined  all the random things people have left, the idea is to put the cache back exactly as you found it so that the next person can have as much fun looking for it.

On Sunday I mentioned to my good friend, pilot, walker and habitual mountain goat Mike that I had just discovered geocaching. He got rather excited, as he had heard of this intriguing activity before, but had never had an opportunity to give it a go. Upon establishing that it would be quite fun to give this a go together at some point, a plan was quickly formulated that Mike should visit me and we would have a go at some rural ones. This then became a ramble/geocache plan, and Tuesday/Wednesday were identified as the earliest we could attempt it. Both Mike and I being fairly keen to do things once we've decided to do them, having an impromptu adventure was fairly inevitable.

We cooked up a route that included six caches, one of which I had already found on Sunday, for practice, taking us over to Hoxne and back. In the end I reckon we walked about 15 miles. In total we located 5 out of 6 caches. I suspect the last one had vanished. Some of them were very cleverly hidden, and I applaud the guy who planted them.

We ended the day with a pub trip and chippy chips and excellent chat, and though I feel a little the worse for wear today (both from blisters, stiffness and slight hangover) I look forward to doing it again very soon.

I am even thinking about coming up with something small and knitted to leave in the larger caches I find, thus combining a third hobby.

If I do start doing it regularly it will hopefully help me to get a bit fitter again. Being unemployed makes me too inactive and it really bothers me.

Update

Apologies. It seems I got out of the habit of updating again. *Naughty Liz!*

A brief update on things:
I heard back from both the jobs I applied to. No joy, though I got interviewed for both, and seem to have been among the last few for both. Still rather disheartening though.

I published the pattern I invented for the giraffe toy I mentioned before. He's called George. Have so far sold about 11. I don't think there's much money in it unless I designed dozens of the things. Chris thinks I should, and I might do, its just difficult working out the priorities I should have between knitting design, job hunting, national trust work and redecorating house.

Basically there are too many things I'd like to give priority to, and not enough time to do any of them justice at the moment.

I might have been roped in to volunteering for something else too. Helping to look through grant application criteria to see which might be suitable for a local refurbishment project. It is potentially good CV fodder, and has a remote possibility of leading to employment eventually.

Spent this morning wandering round Oxburgh Hall (National Trust) with a map, a head gardener and an achy shoulder, trying to filter the useful information from the misunderstood and poorly explained. Am helping to generate an electronic record of the location of underground services on the site, so they know where to dig (or not to dig, as the case may be). trying to record all that information on one piece of paper is very confusing and hard work.

I gave blood this evening. My dad took me. They've changed the system since I last went. They ask you to drink a pint(ish) of water before you even start, then after the blood test they send you for more refreshment and still offer you the usual stuff after you've donated. They also ask you to do a weird bottom clenching thing repeatedly while you're lying there to help the circulation. I felt a bit of a ninny to be honest.

That's your lot for now. If I think of anything else interesting to write in the next few days you might hear more from me.

Jobs

Well today was meant to be an important day in terms of knowing where I might be for the next few years. This was supposed to be when Chris heard from BACF whether they wanted him to come back for the next round. As I understand it they haven't got back to him, or any of the other FTE pilots today, so our limbo continues.

I did apply for another graduate job today. BRE (Building Research Establishment) have a two year graduate scheme in Watford that sounds interesting, though not ideal. I had a response fairly quickly asking me to clarify my A level results. At least this means they've received it and looked at it, which is more than I've heard from the other job I applied to.

Windy aint it?

It's rather windy today. So much so that the wheelie bin has blown over three times! I've given up going out to put it right.

In other news I had a bad dream. One of my friends died and I happened to be a few doors down. I then woke up at about 6.20 and couldn't get back to sleep. It's kind of doomed my day to be gloomy.

I got a knitting magazine yesterday, and it has lots of patterns I want to knit, including an Alan Dart March hare. Alan Dart's patterns are by and large amazing see here: http://www.alandart.co.uk/pages/products .

I've got to finish some other projects before starting any more. Especially the giraffe I've been knitting for an impending or possibly already present baby.

An introduction

Restarting my blog after quite a while away from it. So long in fact that my old blog is inaccessible to me. I've started this one to replace it.

I'll try to update on stuff I'm up to, or stuff I'm thinking about.

I'll hopefully be more verbose in future posts.

Ttfn Chaps